The DUFF

What better film to watch on my 39^th birthday than a teen comedy romance with a PG-13 certificate? Thankfully bitchy, mean spirited high school comedy transcends age and The DUFF is proof that kids haven’t changed much in the last 25 years.

Mae Whitman and Robbie Amell play off each other seamlessly as the Designated Ugly, Fat Friend (think modern day Juno) and her annoying but strangely attractive, charming jock neighbour. Whitman isn’t particularly ugly or fat but compared to her gorgeous friends she might as well look like Donald Trump for all the attention she gets.

The film is very relatable but it reeks of cliché. I imagine it’s a huge hit with teenage girls, mainly because they are too young to know about Heathers. Boys of a certain age will undoubtedly appreciate the pretty girls but some scenes drag too much, causing even the most focused mind to wander.

The ending is regrettably predictable; I had high hopes it would end on a more sarcastic note but the ‘Twilight’ generation are too likely to top themselves en masse if the underdog doesn’t win though in the end.

The DUFF is pretty much Mean Girls with social media, which is responsible for a good 70% of the laugh out loud moments; with 15% going to Bianca and Wesley and the remainder being attributed to funny but woefully over the top performances from Allison Janney, Romany Malco and Ken Jeong. All the elements are present and correct; it looks great, it’s well put together with a (generally) good pace and, most importantly, it has a clever sense of wit that toes the line of good taste carefully and efficiently.

Apartment Troubles

Either I have a huge issue with overly projecting myself onto film characters or somebody has been stalking me and making movies out of my life!  I’m not even joking when I express how much Apartment Troubles has freaked me out.  I had planned to review it a few days ago but it has taken me this long to get over the shock and concern about the numerous… let’s call them coincidences.

First ‘coincidence’/result of elaborate stalking mission – I dusted some shelves in my 1 bedroom flat, arguably for the first time since moving in roughly 7 months ago (I produce a lot of dust for such a little person!) about 5 minutes before I sat down to watch Apartment Troubles.  Whilst dusting I opened the tiny box of ‘trouble dolls’ for probably the first time since an old friend gave them to me around 15 years ago.  When one of the main characters in Apartment Troubles endowed a trouble doll with a wish and put it back in a box almost identical to mine, 15 minutes or so into the movie, I checked on IMDb to make sure I didn’t write this film in my sleep only to find out the alternative name for this film is Trouble Dolls.

Second ‘coincidence’ with a slight (10 minutes into the movie) spoiler – my beloved cat/best friend died recently, well 5 months ago but it’s the sort of thing you never come back from and I was charged £130 to have him cremated which is close enough to the $150 the girls in the film are quoted to be eerie.

Third, and most frightening ‘coincidence’ – my cat’s original name was Penguin Puffin cat the second and the cat in the movie is called Seagull.  How many brunettes with blonde best friends who are allergic to their cats do you know that name their feline friends after birds?

I could list many more examples but I don’t want to give too much away (about the film or my private life) but needless to say I’m pretty much Apartment Troubles target audience, I’d go as far as to say I’m the bulls eye of that target!

Freakiness aside, I really enjoyed most of Apartment Troubles.  I got a bit bored in the latter half of the film but that’s not unusual for me.  The humour, whilst not always obvious, is dark and steady just how I like it.  It’s very much a film made by women for women and I worry that a lot of men are going to be disappointed by the lack of lesbian sex (because that’s all us ladies get up to when alone according to the majority of the male, movie watching population!).

Co-writers/directors/stars Jennifer Prediger and Jess Weixler’s first collaboration is a valiant effort, if a little immature at times.  To elaborate on a comparison on IMDb, Apartment Troubles is essentially pretty, American women doing a modern day version of Withnail and I, which I don’t think is a bad thing.

The Breakfast Club

15^th February 2015 saw the 30^th anniversary of The Breakfast Club’s original US release and I am feeling pretty damn old!  Even more alarming is that I can still recite pretty much the entire script, word for perfectly angsty word.

Set in John Hughes’ fictional town of Sherman, Illinois, the premise is ageless; 5 kids stuck in Saturday detention together bond and discover hidden levels beneath their stereotypes.  However, can a movie made in the middle of the 1980’s still be relevant 30 years later?

The opening credits remind me of a simpler time; they look like someone is holding up a printed sheet of paper to the camera and is very nervous about messing up.  THAT David Bowie quote, which was suggested to Hughes by Ally Sheedy, bore pride of place on my school folder, along with other classics such as “obscene finger gestures from such an pristine girl!” and “I’ve seen her dehydrate, sir, it’s pretty gross”.  I was never able to have any good friends called Claire because of The Breakfast Club!

There are plenty of rumours about who was originally cast in The Breakfast Club, Hughes had his pick of the entire Brat Pack; my favourite is that John Cusack was intended to play Bender.  Judd Nelson was almost sacked during filming for his off screen bullying of John Hughes’ starlet, Molly Ringwald who was just 17 when the movie was made.  At 26 Nelson was obviously older than the others but it doesn’t seem to spoil the film, if anything I think it added to his character.

Surprisingly all 5 ‘kids’ are still alive and you can read about where they are now here…  A lot of the dialogue in The Breakfast Club is ad libed, the scene where they tell each other why they are in detention for example.  Personally I think this is one of the cheesier scenes but then I remember it was filmed in the 80s so could have been much, much worse.

The stereotyping of the characters has helped the film age gracefully, I saw someone wearing Ally Sheedy’s outfit the other day!  80s music has already had numerous comebacks so, as terrible as it is; I’m pretty much immune to the soundtrack…  The Breakfast Club seems to have stood the test of time.

The biggest giveaway to the age of this film has to be that they are all drinking full fat coke!  Even the prissy Claire doesn’t object to what would amount to child abuse in America nowadays.  The biggest difference between watching The Breakfast Club when I was 10 and watching it now is instead of admiring Judd Nelson’s beautiful big eyes, I’m thinking about sinking my nails into his arse!

13 Going On 30

So… continuing the semi-theme of films about mystical body/age transformations we have 13 Going On 30, where, oddly enough given the title, a 13 year old girl is transformed into a 30 year old Jennifer Garner.

Unlike other films of this (unofficial) genre the 13 year olds actually look and act 13 and could feasibly grow up to look like their adult versions, esp. Garner’s younger self, Christa B. Allen.  Garner was so impressed with Allen that 5 years later she persuaded the producers of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past to cast her in a similar role.

On a personal note, I love that junior Mark Ruffalo plays Talking Heads at the party and as an adult he is wearing their t-shirt.  With the exception of Talking Heads (which is swapped for Madonna by the ‘cool’ girls) the soundtrack is a selection of classic 80s pop, it might not be good but it at least fits the storyline.

The transformation conduit this time round is simple ‘Magic Dust’ bought, no doubt, from a toy shop or the back of Viz.  It’s not the most creative scenario but it does allow the film to focus more on the character’s lives rather than the mission to get back to reality.

My only real problem with 13 Going On 30 is with one of the ‘6 Chicks’ (the cool girls), the one who looks like a male wrestler!  They are supposed to be the hottest girls in the school and one of them looks like a fully grown, unattractive man.  Admittedly you only see her once or twice from the front and a few times from behind (you can’t really miss her behind!) but assuming it’s the directors daughter who they hired for free, they would have been better of changing the group to 5 chicks.

Adult World

I absolutely loved everything about Adult World; so much so I think I was Emma Robert’s character; not just because I would stalk John Cusack given half a chance!  I’ve never harboured any strong feelings about being a poet but I get the highly strung, ‘everybody hates me’ attitude.

John Cusack plays my dream man, all dark and brooding, spouting poetic wisdom such as “If you want to make art you have to fail.  And so, the hardest job is to fail better.”  However the best character has to be Rubia, played by Porto Rican actor Armando Riesco; a sassy but big hearted transvestite who helps the main character on her way to not so much greatness.

The film is not action packed and fast paced but great performances from Emma Roberts and her off-screen fiancé, Evan Peters keep it from being boring.  It could have definitely benefited from more innuendo; I would happily watch an hour and a half of Evan Peters making sexual puns, surrounded by vibrators and butt plugs.

Adult World is pleasantly predictable and delightfully subtle with some laugh out loud moments.  This is a deliberately short review because if you haven’t already seen it I suggest you hurry up and do so!

The Switch

I have to admit I watched this film expecting to hate it but turned out to be pleasantly surprised.

I love to hate romantic comedies and I really hate children; I find it difficult to relate to people who want kids especially on their own but after the first conversation Anniston and Bateman have I found myself liking Aniston’s character and understanding her point of view.  Maybe I am softening with age but the kid is cute and interacts brilliantly with the adults.

The 2 main characters could have been played by anyone; I have no strong feelings either way about Jason Bateman or Jennifer Aniston although I did love Bateman’s nonchalant voiceover.  The stars of The Switch are undoubtedly Juliette Lewis and Jeff Goldblum as the best friends; in fact the middle of the film was slightly dull and lacking in Lewis.

Based on a short story by Jeffery Eugenides (who incidentally had nothing to do with the film, saying it was “too Hollywood”), The Switch is just about quirky enough to lift it above other Rom Coms.  It might not be side splitting, laugh out loud funny but it’s charming and dry humour kept me amused.

21 Jump Street & 22 Jump Street

I’ve just watched both these movies back to back so I thought I’d review them almost as a 2 parter. The sequel actively takes the piss out of itself as “being the same as before” and it even has a nice little “previously on 21 Jump Street” intro bit!

I wasn’t really sure who Channing Tatum was until 21 Jump Street; I think I was getting him confused with Rizzo from Grease (Stockard Channing)… imagine the awkward silences that arose from that little misunderstanding!  I can now confirm that I am a little bit in love with him.  I’ve never been into the action hero muscle look but he does have such good arms… some might even say great arms…

ANYWAY… Both films are jam packed with references and extraordinary cameos; most notably in 21 Jump Street the references to the original TV series almost overshadows the fact that the entire original cast bar Dustin Nguyen are in the film (Nguyen is featured in clips of the TV series shown on TVs in the background of the film, which are always shot at!).  My favourite has to be in 22 Jump Street when Hill and Tatum drive past the film studies centre (if you don’t get it, rejoice, it’s because you are too young).

I get Jonah Hill’s sense of humour and think he is a quality actor (or he’s very good at playing one character); having seen 21 Jump Street I was looking forward to the sequel, which is rare for me.  Incidentally 22 Jump Street has the best end credits I have ever seen, they are so good I’m actually a bit gutted a 3^rd film in the series has been announced.

Finally… Ice Cube is a legend! I’m going to start a petition that insists he is in every comedy film ever made from now on, saying fuck at least every third word.

Blended

Blended marks the 3^rd instalment of what I like to call the “Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler need to get a room” saga and in my opinion it is, overall, the worst.

There are plenty of references to The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates but they are mostly clumsy and forced, especially an old character’s appearance in the grocery store.

Nearly 2 hours long, this movie wouldn’t have suffered from being half an hour shorter although I’m guessing they wanted to take as much advantage of the setting as possible.  It features some amazing shots of Africa which are golden and rich, making the scenes filmed elsewhere grubby and harsher.

However…

I used to really respect Drew Barrymore before I watched this film.  Now I’m not sure whether she is just an awful actress or she is playing someone I can’t stand really well (it’s the James Franco 127 Hours dilemma all over again!)  Joel McHale is perfectly arrogant as Barrymore’s ex husband and Abdoulaye NGom is mildly amusing as the resort host.

The star of the show, however, has to be Alyvia Alyn Lind who plays Sandler’s youngest daughter.  I generally dislike most kids, as I may have mentioned before, but she is absolutely adorable and has some classic lines that only cute kids can get away with.

I feel I must say something about the band in Blended, I just can’t think of anything other than to point out that they reminded me of Oompa Loompas in the way they would pop up.  It’s the sort of thing that usually pisses me right of, if you’ll excuse the French (after the week they’ve had you really should) but I have to admit to the odd giggle.  The use of colour in their scenes is great and might even make up for the fact that a lot of people are going to find their presence just a little bit too much at times.

It’s a Boy Girl Thing

The best way I can describe this is as a really (really) cheap Freaky Friday with 2 high school neighbours instead of a mother and daughter.  It’s never a good sign when Sharon Osbourne is the biggest name you can get!

The credits are quite cute and by far the classiest part of this film.  Be warned – it goes downhill almost immediately with that god awful Mystical (?) tune.  In a strange twist to the first pan gender film of this nature I’ve seen the characters don’t immediately masturbate, which, let’s be honest, is the first thing you would do if magically transferred into the other sexes body.

One must assume this film was casted by the same deaf, dumb and blind idiots who cast 17 Again as the boy is probably the most effeminate man they could find (I’m not joking, he even sounds like a 12 year old girl, before the body swap).  But in true “Zac Efron is not Matthew Perry” style the man who played the 18 year old Horse was in his early 30s when this was made.  Samaire Armstrong who played the ‘girl’ was also much older than her character (approx. 26).  It’s fair to say the scenes where you can clearly see age lines on their faces really spoilt the realism for me (sarc).

Minor issues with this movie include the fact that even though the neighbours hate each other they sit next to each other in computer class in the only school in the world that doesn’t have parental locks on their computers to stop kids accessing porn!

Finally this scene and the fact that her hair goes from splashed by a puddle to backcombed Robert Smith from The Cure in the remainder of her journey to school (which she apparently walked and arrived before the boys who drove).  And why is she not getting away from the water???

(500) Days of Summer

A lot of this films appeal will depend on your feelings for Zooey Deschanel as she is the main focus of (500) Days of Summer (she plays Summer!).  Personally I find her mildly amusing in small doses but if she isn’t your cup of tea this movie is best avoided.

Described as “an offbeat romantic comedy about a woman who doesn’t believe true love exists and the man who falls in love with her” (500) Days of Summer is a visual treat; music video director Marc Webb’s first feature film was deliberately blue centric to bring out Deschanel’s eyes.  Also, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s good days are noticeably brighter looking than his bad days.

The film jumps around in time, not in a confusing Memento way, there is a graphic before each new scene to let the viewer know whereabouts in the story they are.  Part of me thinks without this element (500) Days would be a rather plain ‘boy meets girl, boy likes girl more than girl likes boy, boy feels the need to write a slightly bitter screenplay about his experience as nobody has ever been heartbroken as bad as him’ type film.

Chloe Grace Moretz steals the film as Tom’s (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) little sister.  There are some other great (unfairly overlooked) performances from the likes of Patricia Belcher and Yvette Nicole Brown who bring a fair dose of sarcastic humour to the smallest of roles.

There are plenty of references in this 75% true film (according to the writer) and the soundtrack could have been lifted directly from my Spotify playlist so it might not be Breakfast of Tiffanys but (500) Days of Summer is certainly worth a watch.